1. Move in with your parents.
I know, this may seem drastic. But there is no better way to save money than to stop paying rent. Yes, it may crush your soul, break your spirit, and compromise your will to live, but think of the savings! And think of how much you will appreciate your self sufficiency once the economy recovers and you move out!
2. Offer to get the next one.
This money saving technique is risky. The person who gets the first round must sincerely believe that you are either staying around for the next one, or are planning on getting together again soon. It is important that you make your exit seem unexpected. Maybe you get a "phone call" and have to leave right away. Or look at your watch, express shock, and dash out apologetically. Either way, you just partook in a social activity, and kept your wallet full of Washingtons. Win-Win!
(note: If you get caught exercising this technique, your friend might think you are a "jerk" or "freeloader." Your friend will be correct, but this post isn't "Top 5 Ways To Be A Good Friend.")
3. Get on the bus.
Stop paying for parking, gas, car insurance, scented trees, and speeding tickets. Why pay for a convenient, time saving, independent and fun form of transportation when you could experience the adventure of public transportation? Think of the whimsy of buses off schedule, people pushing and shoving you, sitting next to crying babies and sulking teenagers. Think of the hours spent waiting on the sides of busy streets. The stories you will have! The people watching you can do! And the money you will save.
4. Sleep more.
The cheapest thing that you can do (especially when you are living at someone else's place) is sleep. You are not eating, drinking, shopping, or using much electricity. As a bonus, you will be able to sleep through the worst of the financial crisis. I recommend 12-14 hours per night. It might take a few days to get your body used to this routine, but once you do, the savings will start adding up. When you come home from work (should you be so lucky), simply go to bed, and stay there until it's time to go to work again.
5. Lifetime Movies
If you do crave some sort of entertainment, look no further than basic cable. The Lifetime network is full of cinematic masterpieces that are sure to entertain. With plots that include cheating husbands, promiscuous teens and domestic violence, valuable lessons come with each film. I recommend Not Without My Daughter, Mother, May I Sleep With Danger, Brave New Girl (Nice literary reference, Lifetime!), and A Woman Scorned: The Betty Broderick Story.
I'm laughing my ass off. I needed a good laugh tonight - thx, lady! I'm going to try out number four...now I just need to convince Logan that it's a good idea. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for blowing up my "going-to-get-the-next-one" spot! Instead of going out for first rounds only with unsuspecting acquaintances, I am now going to be a social pariah, drinking generic mouth wash in my bedroom. DAMN!
ReplyDeleteTwo more tips:
ReplyDelete6) Get Engaged. People are excited to buy you drinks. Plus, you get to register for things.
7) When you propose, don't get your fiance a diamond ring. I learned this one the hard way - talk about a dent in the bank account. I'm gonna be sleeping and not eating for weeks to get that chunk of change back.
Great list, particularly #4: during the financial crisis of 1998, the typical Russian slept like 20 hours per day, spending their allotted rubles solely on vodka (cheaper than water)... and, really, #6 & #7 need to become a 'movement', from now on the standard needs to be 'hand made' and 'from the heart' when it comes to engagement rings, whether woven from straw or simply cut from copper pipe at Home Depot.
ReplyDelete