Friday, February 27, 2009

Mr. Jindal -Two Dollars Means a Snack For Me, But It Means a Big Deal to You



And to think that while watching last Sunday's Meet the Press, I was thinking 'Yikes, I kiiiiiiind of agree with him'...

I was getting comfortable with this little Louisiana governor questioning the idea of borrowing all of that stimulus money on the condition that his state permanently change its eligibility rules for unemployment. He argued this was not fair. That Louisiana would be spending a dollar over the long-term to borrow a penny now ... it seemed counterintuitive to me too, so I kind of agreed with him.

Only to read that he is talking about denying a drop in the bucket of the funds he is being handed. And this mandate about the rules may not be so permanent after all. He is just another squawk box. His response to the-love-of-my-life-Obams was horrendous, to say he paled in comparison is a cliched understatement. And in the end I am so glad he was chosen to be 'that guy', because the Repubs are clearly looking for their own messiah, thought they'd found him, and really maybe he would've looked alright at a fair distance ... but put him up next to The Man - the MAN - and he's going to look like the biggest loser at best.

Biggest Loser.

And worse yet, he rained on Slumdog's parade, and I am not happy about that. That was poor timing, Bobby! India cannot take over America in a week.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

And Then a Birthday, Birthday, Birthday, for YOU!

One day belated, but you know what they say about Aquarians - we like to keep the party goin' all night long, sometimes into the next day even. (Pretty sure that's what they say.)

Dear Shannza,

Working with you on Great Opinations has been better than fresh gnarly pow on a bluebird day (at any place other than Gunstock). It has been better than bacon, better than playing Enrique Iglesias's 'Escape' on repeat (but not by much), and better than waking up next to twin Kirk Dices.

Cheers to your year, Bloggy!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Birthday, Birthday, Birthday for you

Dear Kay Ho,

Working with you on Great Opinations has been better than $5 Lunch (but not much, because that was awesome). I look forward to reading more of your insightful posts now that you are older and wiser than you were yesterday.

Happy Birthday!

Jack Black - Birthday Song

Love,
shannza

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

I Will Totally Do You This Favor

In an earlier post, I casually mentioned the money saving technique of Offering To Get The Next One, and then skipping out before it’s time for said round. And ever since, well, no one wants to get the first round anymore. I am totally busted.

I have been thinking about it, and have come up with a plan. Since my financial situation is both dire - and now public - it would be futile to offer any sort of monetary or material gestures of gratitude.

After much deliberation, I have come up with the perfect way to repay the generosity of my friends and peers, who have so helpfully ponied up at happy hours and lunches.

I hereby would like to extend the offer to House Sit for you. I know, I know. How could I be so generous? It’s such a HUGE favor. I know. And I am willing to sacrifice. Because your kindness means a lot to me, and I want to do what’s right.

It can be stressful to leave a safe and clean house unattended while you go… wherever it is you go. I know what you are asking yourself:

Are the cats being fed? Is my house safe from petty criminals? Are my perishables rotting? Is that wine going to go bad? What if I forget to TiVo my favorite shows?

Well, I will gladly take care of everything. Except the cats. I am not a pet lover so don’t even ask. Leave some money on the counter for the neighbor kid to do it, and I will be sure she gets it. I swear.

So here is what I will do:
  • I will take long, hot showers to ensure that the pipes don’t freeze.
  • I will eat any and all perishables and drink everything in your house. To make sure it doesn’t go to waste, of course.
  • I will go through your TiVo for you and delete stuff so that you don’t run out of space. But if you leave a list of your favorite shows, I will be happy record them for you (if they don’t conflict with my favorite shows).
  • I will also leave the lights on all night to deter thieves. I will even have people over every night to make sure that no one would ever think that the house was unattended. Of course, I would rather not have to throw wild parties, but I WOULD. For safety’s sake.
  • If you leave a credit card I will pay your bills, even. And order Netflix for you. And pizza. And the snuggie. And the Slap Chop. I will do all of that. For you.
You’re Welcome.