The Bolsheviks, Dear

So odds are good that someday you are going to find yourself at a dinner party - amongst ten or so people, around a too-small table, all making polite small-talk conversation as the wine is being poured, all anxiously anticipating the meal that has been "in the works" for two hours longer than anyone expected... (you've been there, I know)... everybody's "hungry"... can't think of much else other than food... food now, anything, please, a crumb - where someone is going to bring up "the Bolsheviks".

Worse than that, you may someday find out on a "Friday" that you have to teach the Russian Revolution on "Monday" because "it's gonna be on the final" which is "days away" and you still haven't "gotten to it."

Here's to quickly making sure you're up on your revolutionaries.

Now, I don't know about you, but when I think of the Bolsheviks I think of little orphan Annie; not the book so much (remember...), but the movie with Albert Finney. I remember the way he said "Bolsheviks," (a deep, gargled, muffling), and the way Grace Farrell calmly said, "The Bolsheviks, dear," when Annie asked who would want to kill Mr. Warbucks. (I know, right?) The Bolsheviks wanted to kill Mr. Warbucks because, according to Grace, he was "living proof that the American system really works." And the Bolsheviks didn't want anyone to know that.

Point #1. If you like the American system, you should not like the Bolsheviks. Put yourself back into the dinner conversation scenario, and practice your response to Pretentious Peter: "Oh, yeah, ridiculous not wanting anyone to know that the American system actually [throw up your air quotes] 'works'!" Ha - ha, jokes on them, those damn Bolsheviks. And you have contributed. No need to opine beyond that, let the rest of 'em suck on the details. You can now relax and return to massively consuming all that is before you. Because you're starving, you're an American (dammit), and you deserve it.

To be fair, the Bolsheviks would've understood your hunger and would've been the first at your dinner party to happily make sure there was bread for all the guests, let alone the first to pass it. That's all they really wanted for everybody - bread... and peace... and land. (And worker control of production, and all power to the Soviets, but whatever, the point is that you should attempt to empathize before you judge. They would "get" you.)

To wrap this up, it was the Bolsheviks' dedication to violent revolution (think opposite of Gandhi) that allowed them, under Lenin, to ultimately seize the Winter Palace and overthrow the provincial government. (There's some more catchy jargon for you.)

Boom - enter Communists, and the major problems of the twentieth century are in full bloom.

Shove that up Pretentious Peter's pipe. And then tell him Mark Twain would call the 'Viks idiots too, because he felt it took as much brains to hold onto money as was needed to make it, and that the money would end up back in the owners' hands eventually anyway. Tell him to chew on that. And then go for seconds.

This discussion on the Bolsheviks and the Russian Revolution is now open. Share what you know.

(Here's a courtesy clip to accompany the lecture. Fast-forward to 7:10/9:58 and enjoy from there, if pressed for time.)