Resolving To Stay The Same

So I was reading Kay Ho’s post, and learned that apparently gyms are crowded in January due to people pretending that they are actually going to get in shape THIS year. That they are finally going to start going to the gym. Now I am sure Kay Ho supports the effort, but she has a good point. Of course I would not know if gyms are crowded in January, or empty in August. I don’t set foot in those smelly sweat factories.

This goes out to all those peeps who just learned that they should probably stop using the gym as a place to read Twilight or watch Anderson Cooper interview dogs. Listen people: The gym isn’t for everyone. It certainly isn’t for me. So next year, when you are half-heartedly making your Resolutions, be honest with yourself. Don’t waste the money on a month long gym pass. Resolve to pay a bill on time, for once!

But saving on membership fees is only one economic benefit of avoiding the gym. Since you will not be even minimally working out after all the holiday eating, you may notice that the clothes you own and can’t afford to replace are tighter. I say they are not “tighter,” they are “sexier.” Tasteful sweaters become belly shirts. Comfortable jeans become hot pants. And regular coats become LITTLE COATS!



So now we have not angered the regular gym goers, we have saved money, and we are lookin' GOOOOOOOOOD! Best. Resolution. Ever.