Top 5 Ways To Make Money During These Tough Economic Times

My fellow Americans,

We are in the midst of The Greatest Crisis Since The Great Depression. Times are tough. But don't worry. Here at Great Opinations, I have some fail safe, risk free solutions to help you through it. Trust me. If your bills are adding up while your income shrinks, then these ideas are for you:

1. Request a bailout (and be Too Big To Fail.)

Hey, if it worked for an industry that is manufacturing cars than no one wants, it can work for you. Set up a hearing in congress, drive to it in a hybrid car, and and describe the chaos and devastation that will result if you don't get your bonuses and have to start traveling coach. For good measure, blame the unions. Watch the money roll in.

2. File a frivolous lawsuit.

Engage in the proud American tradition of excessive litigation. Throw yourselves in front of a fancy car, slip and fall in the lobby of a big corporation, "find" rat droppings in your pre-packaged food, and sue, sue, sue!

(This option has the added bonus of public adoration when the people see you bring down The Man.)

3. Invent something awesome.

I would give you an example, but I don't want to give anything away. You are not the only one who needs money! I will, however, provide some tips. First, invent something that will cost people a lot of money. Second, make it really awesome so that people will want to buy it. You will cash in in no time.

4. Mail me your gold.

For a small fee, I will collect your gold, sell it to a pawnshop, and send you your percentage. Avoid the hassle of doing it yourself. But don't worry. I am totally trustworthy.

5. Buy my Feng Shui Finance Crystals.

These fabulous crystals will add much needed positive energy to your house. Hang them near where you pay your bills and watch your financial fortune turn. For only $39.95, you can get your set today. AND, for every person you get to buy them, you will get a commission. The more people you get to buy, the more money YOU make! If you can't afford to buy these, then you can't afford NOT to. Order today!

Good luck!
shannza